


The Lonely Onnagata

by kyoselflove



Category: Jrock, Lycaon (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Drama, Edo Period, Kabuki Theatre, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 11:48:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6193939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyoselflove/pseuds/kyoselflove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Playing the roles of women have Yuuki in a sense of longing for his long lost lover, like in the plays he does every night. A man he has yet to meet; tired of waiting Yuuki goes to seek him out on his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lonely Onnagata

Within these walls was all he would ever come to know. The smell of the dusty old curtains, vibrant colors of woodblock prints, along with the laughter and moans of drunken and greedy men. Smoke thick in the air as patrons huffed on their pipes, floor sticky with spilt alcohol. Men were cheering loudly behind the curtain, as he patiently waited on his knees, head bowed, for it to be lifted. Even with all of its flaws, he had become infatuated with the place.

With the lift of the heavy fabric, the _shamisen_ player started his cue. Gracefully lifting his body from his knees on the stage, then a beat of the drum, he tilted his head, glancing into the audience. Standing fully, he snapped open his fan, swaying it in front of him while his other arm extended out, his elegant kimono moving along with his actions. 

Dancing across the stage, the _aragoto_ entered from a trap door, the music becoming more rapid as he stepped away from the man. A katana slid over his neck as the villain held him in a tight hold from behind. Before the scene could be completed, a group of samurai started to brawl inside the theatre. 

The _onnagata_ assumed the fight started over another _kabuki_ actor. Not having time to see whom, as a ceramic bowl flew on the stage, his aragoto pulling him away in time, as the bowl shattered to the wooden floor. Both of them were ushered off the stage, the curtains closing. The aragoto, known to him as Satoshi, guided him by hand into the back of the theatre. 

They entered the dressing room, a very tiny room with four vanities, a rack of stage clothes in the back, and dimly lit by oil lanterns as there were no windows.

Sitting down at his vanity, where most would find him when not on stage. Admiring its years of use before him, rugged wood stained with make up and tears, the piece of furniture had seen and absorbed a lot. He sighed, looking over his shoulder, in a quiet, feminine voice, he asked, “The fight started over whom this time?”

Smiling wide, which irritated him greatly as he wished to still be on stage, Satoshi answered, “I believe it was Rito. Again.”

Scoffing, he gazed into the mirror, fixing his appearance, his lips blood red and eyes darkly lined with charcoal. In the reflection he could see Satoshi’s smile turn into a grin. “Yuuki, do you wish men would fight over you? I’m sure they will soon.”

With a seductive smile, he continued to look at himself in the mirror. “I’m sure they will,” he said, “but it will not be for a grab at bare flesh, they will come to realise that I am a rare beauty.”

The door of the dressing room flew open, banging noisily against the wall, making the oil lanterns hanging on the walls flicker. Rito lifted up the sleeve of his kimono, showing off a bright crimson mark colored with hues of purple, “The bastard grabbed me!”

“Men are possessive it was bound to happen,” Yuuki said softly, looking at Rito’s plain face contort with anger. An expression you would never find on his own, for he did not want to ruin his appearance with such an ugly emotion. 

Satoshi left the room, going to his own, this room being the onnagata’s after all but more so, the arguments between them could become too heated for his liking. Yuuki rubbed away the white paste off his face, keeping the make up on his eyes and lips, revealing his own natural tone of pale skin. “I hate when they do this,” Rito continued on, fuming. Yuuki applied a more humanly toned paste to his face, adding a hint of pink to his cheeks.

Removing the barrettes out of his hair and earrings, he gently placed them in his jewelry box, he turned to his friend, “I think of it being as a sweet gesture.” Rummaging through his box again, he took out a butterfly barrette, placing it on top of his bun, adding matching earrings. He liked the weight on his ears, as they dangled against his neck.

“Are you delusional Yuuki? They were just fighting over me because I am a piece of meat they had once bought for a night!” With a look of disgust, Rito sat down next to him on the verge of tears.

Wincing, Yuuki turned away, looking down at his hands on his lap. Rito continued with a shaky voice, “Wait until you are sold. No longer will you think of it as sweet.” 

With a delicate twist of his red-coated lips, Yuuki said, “Everyone has their place in society.”

“You always continue to amaze me Yuuki, but your outcome on the matter will change soon enough.” Sounding like a sneer, but Yuuki knew his fellow actor meant well, maybe he would change his views but right now, he had no desire too.

Giving a softened look, Rito sighed, “Time for me to entertain.” Yuuki smiled at him, which the other didn’t return, and then walked out of the dressing room, leaving Yuuki alone.

He wanted to entertain the attention-craved men as well; he felt there would be no harm done. Wanting nothing more than to hear the glorious stories of the outside world while warming their bed. Often he would dream of caressing a broad chest of an unknown man, his face always blurry to him afterwards, the man would tell of his heroic battles on the land, his ability to overcome even death itself. They would rest together, enjoying the naked skin of each other, wanting to feel that heat. Yuuki desperately needed it. 

Making his way to the bustling floor of the theatre, Yuuki smiled, as men looked him up and down, taking a liking to what they saw. It made Yuuki’s smile become more flirtatious, as he scoped for an attractive man to take an interest in him.

Hearing a boisterous laughter, Yuuki moved his eyes along the tables to find where it came from, the voice pleasing him more so than the other men. Moving towards the infectious laugh, the table was full of men enjoying their spirits, since they were dressed in ordinary clothes and had full sets of hair, Yuuki figured they were probably of the middle class but they held swords. The one that had Yuuki interested was indeed handsome; the man’s piercing eyes met his.

Suddenly, all their laughter stopped, the men turned their heads to look at him. Yuuki blushed at the newfound attention on him, the one he had his eyes on said nothing, taking a sip of his sake. One of the other samurai’s stood from the wooden bench, coming towards Yuuki.

The man was not bad looking, even still, Yuuki found himself looking over the man in front of him, to meet the intense gaze of the one he wanted. “The star of the show is finally on the floor?” The alcohol from the man’s breath hit him first, causing him to stand back a little, he saw the man lick his lips. Yuuki’s painted face became flushed at the compliment. Did they already desire him? He could feel his heart quickening in pace at the thought.

“Hiyuu, leave him alone,” the other man said, his eyes never leaving Yuuki.

Though he didn’t have a chance to reply, Rito charged up to him and grabbed his arm, tugging him to the back of the theater. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?” Rito hissed in his ear, the loud sounds of everyone muffled as he shut the door to Yuuki’s room, the grip on his arm finally released.

“What?” he asked innocently, in his mind, he was doing nothing wrong.

“Were you thinking about taking on that whole table of samurais tonight?” Rito snapped, then let out a growl, “you need to learn how to please first.”

Yuuki let out a giggle, “Don’t all men love a virgin?”

“Yuuki.” Rito’s voice made Yuuki stop laughing, the other was fuming, and Rito had his fists clenched with his lips pursed. After a moment, Rito relaxed and sighed, “If you want, you can have your first time with me.”

To him the offer was absurd; he always wanted to have his first sexual relations with an older man who held a power over him. One that had seen enough hardships to appreciate the comfort Yuuki had to offer him. Not a pity offering from a weak boy such as Rito. Knowing that love would never find him as it did to the women he acted as in the theatre, he had given up on such elaborate dreams long ago. Maybe he would find a bittersweet end, like _Koganosuke_ and _Hinadori_ from _Imoseyama Onna Teikin_. Falling in love with the enemy always fascinated him, though their own parents killed them, an event that would never happen to Yuuki. His mother sold him to the theater when he was just an infant, never knowing his father’s name nor hers.

“I’ll politely decline,” Yuuki said, moving away, determined to see the mysterious man again. 

He caught the look of offense on Rito’s face, but either way, his friend managed to smile. “Just be careful, okay?”

Yuuki hummed his response, turning away, he was grateful when he heard his door shut close. Alone at last, even though solidarity was not what Yuuki sought for. But another moment of Rito’s bickering would have sent him over the edge. 

Face still immaculately neutral, though his muscles twitched to frown, he wiped away his painted face. In the mirror, he did not recognize the boy staring back at him. Yuuki prided himself for being beautiful, but once the mask came off, he was no one. Just an average boy without a purpose. The others felt like slaves; forced to do the work, the acting, he supposed they were indeed. But Yuuki, felt as if he really was the women he played. After the makeup came off, he felt like he was an actor, an imposter. 

Yuuki sighed.

Tonight had already become a failure. His show being cut short always set him in a bad mood. A momentary lapse in his resolve, Yuuki forced his arm across his vanity, all his supplies tumbling to the dusty wooden floor. He sucked in a breath and blinked. His eyes would stay dry.

More often than not, the interruptions were becoming more frequent. The suspicion that a battle would break out again had him on the edge of his seat. Not in fear, but in excitement, he loved what he did, the theatre was his life, even so he had always dreamed to see it burnt to the ground.

**Author's Note:**

>  _shamisen_ ; a traditional Japanese three-stringed lute with a square body, played with a large plectrum.  
>  _aragoto_ ; 'rough style' or 'the reckless warrior', male actors usually playing the hero or villian  
>  _onnagata_ ; a male kabuki actor playing a woman's role  
>  _kabuki_ ; a classical Japanese dance-drama  
>  _Koganosuke_ ; a young samurai, the handsome son of Daihanji no Kiyozumi  
>  _Hinadori_ ; the beautiful daughter of the widow Sadaka  
>  _Imoseyama Onna Teikin_ ; This play is based on the Taika coup d'etat in 645, in which Emperor Tenchi, with his loyal minister Fujiwara no Kamatari, succeeded in destroying the wicked Soga no Iruka. There is a scene in which, a Romeo and Juliet-type story about the lovers Koganosuke and Hinadori, whose parents have been feuding over the boundary between their territories.
> 
> This takes place around 1780 (Edo period).


End file.
